Jun
19
2009
Hope
Author: channuHe was the person one would look up to for inspiration. He had braved many tough situations. He had showed the way for people to approach difficulties. He had had more than his share of misfortunes and he had braved it all, come what may.
He was the benchmark when it came to setting standards in education. He spoke little, but what he spoke was listened to.
He had shouldered the burden of running a household even before he completed his studies. He had even sacrificed his teenage for the people around him. He had looked out for his sister. Everyone around him was happy, and for most part, he was either directly or indirectly the reason for it.
He had no extreme habits. He knew his limits and often presented the best picture of self composure and the temperament despite all his problems. He had worked his way to deserve the respect of those surrounding him and he knew that too.
So, why was he not happy? What was wrong in his life?
The youth was standing at the top of his apartment, higher than the terrace, up the steep ladder and at the top of the water tank. It seemed that even the weather was unkind towards him, for there was not a breeze to speak of. It was sunset time and the sky was graying. The doubts in his mind were graying too.
He walked to the edge of the tank. He had no fear in his heart, for it was full of other doubts. He then got down to the only sunshade some five feet below the tank. One trip and he would plummet some hundred feet down.
He was contemplating suicide. What was so wrong in his life for him to think of this extreme end?
He was fighting multiple battles inside his head. He could put an end to it all. He would never have any doubts about himself. He would not exist to feel them in his head. One step forward and he would end it all. One step and he would be in peace. One step and he would be a subject of the past.
What was wrong in his life?
He thought of taking the next step forward. Then there would be no return. He would have passed into oblivion. He would have passed beyond the point where he could realize what lacked in his life. He would have passed beyond which he could do nothing about his past, his present or his (hazy) future.
He sat down on the edge. Something stopped him. He would not take the extreme step. His sanity had prevailed. He realized that he had no right to end his time on earth, something that was bestowed upon him by someone else.
A slight breeze blew on his face. Maybe it was the change in the weather. Maybe it was the change in him. Maybe he felt his inner voice communicating to him.
It dawned to him that in his pursuit of worldly desires, he had lost his identity. He realized that the picture of who he was in the eyes of others had no resemblance to the picture he had created for himself. He decided then that he was going to change the way he approached life. He decided to explore himself, spend his time and energy in finding peace within himself.
The sorrow of humanity is that it is easily diverted from seeking the invisible spiritual peace by the enemy of visible and tangible worldly pleasures - An oppressive enemy which threatens to swallow the earth and all of its inhabitants.
He also realized that there lied hope in the Pandora’s Box. Hope manifested in the form of enlightened individuals. Hope manifested through him and all others who would follow his new path of exploring their own self.
He rose up and once more went to the top of the tank in the terrace. He let his arms open wide. This time a strong gust of wind blew over him, taking with it the bad omens of a life which was now a subject of the past. He, who was born out of his mother’s womb and into the world, was now reborn, out of himself, to cleanse his world and that of those around himself. Where darkness had once threatened to engulf the night, there shone the silvery light of the full moon.
